Baronhawk's Nest

Takkan ku kenang lagi, kisah mimpi semalam.
Tak perlu ku kembali, memori nan kelam.
Esok girang menanti, unggas menyanyi ria.
Menyinsing tirai pagi, diufuk fajar suria.
Namun hatiku sepi, ceria luput selama.
Kelmarin tiada lagi, parut pedih tanda luka.

beralas redup, sisip memori.

Bingkis rindu, tiada lagi,
hanya syahdu, cinta duniawi.

Tiada dendam, tiada lara,
hanya sepi, menanti senja.

Ketiika dulu, engkau dan aku,
berkongsi seru, irama lagu.

Jantung berdegup, melirik mata,
jari berpaut, puitis kata.

Hanya sepi, alunan alpa,
di tasik sunyi, tingalan kita.

I was dark,
brimming fears,
hidden tears,
tumbling years.

touched by light,
borrowed brilliance
soul-confluence
star-seed's countenance.

Now I bloom,
iridescent
awakened latent
transcendent.

Ku masih berlari-lari,
mengejar cebis memori,
menangkup kembali diri,
dirungkai realiti.

Ku susur jalan yang sepi,
ke hujung sisa mimpi,
merangkul noktah sunyi,
buat penawar hati.

I walk with stars tonight,
the velvet skies my road,
as painted  moonbeam sighs,
accosts the miles I trod.

On paths where promise holds,
and timid hearts unfurl,
for eyes dance twinkle glow,
and lips blush candy smiles.

It is no accident that when people speak of heart touching moments that they would allude to the phrase 'heartstrings'. For truly and indeed, the heart is an instrument.

It's music is emotions and the tones it creates are the very essence of life and human interactions.

The beatings of the heart are the melodies that links each and every moment, the surround sound that permeates and bound us all to the seasons of our lives.

Our duty is to provide the lyrics and sing out what our heart is already playing. Sounding out the symphony of intentions.

But therein lies the disconnect, what our heart sings and what we can actually accomplish.

You might wake up everyday to the heavenly music of the heart, but making it heard, and playing it note for note is another matter...

Sometimes there is just too much noise that you yourself cannot hear your heart's song, let alone convey it to your intended.

At times, the void of distance is too great that all you hear are echoes, and all that the world can perceive are muffled instances.

The heart is an instrument, but its strings oft plays only silence. But then again, we can't all be Mozarts, that would take away its significance.

Sometimes being tone deaf, or the passable pretense of it, is the best way forward.

There is music out there, in the stars, in the mystery of the twilight, but perhaps we are not all meant to see its conclusion.

Upon stars the night does roam,
velvet skies and silver moon,
heavy eyes no rest to find,
but your face inside my mind.

To your name I cast the winds,
midnight breeze on angel wings,
sweet caresses I loose upon,
into your ears to whisper yon.

Your true north my compass show,
as the seas' faith to the shore,
like the heavens hold the stars,
and the mountains praise the sky.

The person:
My late Dad... Haji Zakaria Hj. Man (Right in picture, yours truly left. During the family Umrah trip prior to his passing.)

The words:
"Terkenang daku, masa yang lalu
tika kau disisi... ku endah tak tahu
...kini tinggal sia-sia, sayang ku rasa
tak dapat ku kata... kau sudah tiada."

The trigger:
The song 'Biar' by the effervescent Fynn Jamal

What do you do when you find something great
do you reach out and take it or do you wait?

But reaching out risks losing out
if and when the venture doesn't work out.

While waiting's just too much
to have your heart wrenched
on a regular basis.

Eff Eff Effing it!

Lucky you can always run to your Penang Hermit cave and hide out.

Eyes wide I roam the silver moon swept skies,
as starlit heavens cried streaks,
forlorn spears striking night's velvet.

Invisible pillars propping eye-lids,
despite countless sheep across picket fences,
endless warm milk chocolate down yawning gullet.

I am restless thoughts feelings memories
strung across omnipotent internet
pudgy listless eyes blinking diodes.
If I search me out, will I then cease to wake?

I walk the world wide web,
halls of digitised heart-mirrors,
perusing why the mind-astray,
caressing night-time-breezes,
sleepless embracing thought-succubi.

I saw you in mirrored surface,
filling mind-eye to brim,
tugging heart messing feeling,
pushing crying wanting,
clear-direct news-tidings.

Your vision haunts.
Lilt of name, caressing smile,
memory-touching depths of soul.
I remain, eyes awake, heaven's wake,
beating heart, yearning hard.

The counterpoint to my thoughts,
a pendulum-duality unrequited.
Mind heart soul intersecting,
wakeful restive pestering.

Shall I seek you out,
end this wild goose chase?
Whose presence seeps soaks succor mine,
throughout the multitude-path cyberspace.

Shall I tell and confess,
the tumult in this heart-cave?
Where I as hermit meditate upon your kiss,
the answer to why I lack sound sleep,
the lullaby to my unfound bliss.

Shall I philosophise the eddies,
of this feel-tide, the gravity that pulls planets,
causing me to fail, to fall, deeper and deeper into debt,
where the currency is sin, the interest ever-lusting.

Shall I dream and dream,
pull out this little string,
grow up go old without knowing the "if" of things?
Or sip upon this wine, of distilled heartbreak,
the sweet probability of which consumes me, I ache.

I gaze upon the mirror-image.
Look-deep into reflected eyes.
Pondering of reaching out and taking the summit.
But is the future this? Shall I retrieve my bliss? Do I deserve your kiss?

Declaration typed, words composed,
hushed-feelings laid bare,
Facebook Twitter Voicemail Text,
eye-caress poetic-gist poem page whisper-kiss.
Finger poised, tap "Enter" or "Delete"?

"Walks the hall of heart-mirrors, perusing why the mind-astray, caressing night time breezes, sleepless embracing thought-succubi, I saw YOU in mirrored surface, filling mind-eye to brim, tugging heart messing feelings, wishing I can write this out, in more direct news-tidings."

Nun di sana langit menjingga
wabak wacana hati nan lara,
Urut perkara detik peristiwa
runtun alpa melirik jiwa,

Roh dipanggil mencuit sepi
bagaikan takdir sudah dijanji,
Adakah cucuk dua sejoli
tanggam bertaut jalan selari,

Ini igauan ataupun damba
siang malam silih bersua,
Diraut liut, wajah suara
makin bertaut makin lama,

Istilah pujangga dirujuk kaji
makna teruja dirusuk kiri,
Laut memisah jarak menyepi
namuh pasrah masih bersemi,

Adakah ini namanya cinta
atau hanya buaian mimpi?

I watch rain drop fall,
rivulets on the ground,
wondering if its turn,
to fall to circumstance.

Like tears they flow,
lining one by one,
as the tempest blows,
spinning them around.

There I see you girl,
at the other end,
across magnet fields,
of this wireless send.

What more can I say,
the rain hadn't done,
open tear my veil,
make my heart go round.

Stuck in my throat,
frozen in my head,
words heart felt,
I think it instead.

Will you join me girl,
will you walk the rain,
let us dance and twirl,
as the tempest sing.

Let me hold your hand,
lips brush your smile,
hope you understand,
though my heart is shy.

I ask you girl,
in the clouds you dwell,
if the rain is love,
will you let it fall.

*Audio here

Some say you cross the bridge
fine line at twenty-six
to be beyond the gate
wrong side of twenties lilt

but time for thee dilate
the rules they bend and break
the blossom'd years to wit
are sparkles on thy cheeks

passaged time don't chide
they smileth in thine eyes
its wisdom gird thy wiles
attendant to thy smiles

I humbly wish thee this
upon thy remembered bliss
for when the angels deigned
to bless the human race.

What is the matter with Malaysia?
what is wrong with us?

building's collapsing
court roofs a-leaking
leaders a-lying
babies a-dumping

taxes a-rising
toll fuel a-climbing
ministers a-flying
public funds a-wasting

what is wrong with us?

see there another
white elephant direct nego
sub money dive under
cronies grow fatter

sports they want to gamble
betting our preamble
while parliamentarians bicker
empty political chatter

roads lie unfinished
cities choked in rubbish
poverty flourish
schools left malnourished

what the PERMATA
first lady my... stars
persian cat who cares
what freedom, where are our rights

ISA stood tall
EO stands ready
DDA will call
hope you are ready

while Pudu Jail's a goner
Kamunting awaits
history may not matter
but Simpang Renggam sits

PPPA smothers
seditious they accuse us
what is the matter
when speaking out the truth

what is wrong with Malaysia?
what is the matter with us?

On lonely roads
consigned choices
memorised misdemeanours
crimes uncounted

routed by chance
to yonder junction
belaboured truths
senses impotent

there she stands
waiting waking wobbling
image apparition
solid stanchions

laddered rungs
salvage salvation
hands out-held
exquisite perfection

will I dare
will she consent
hardened hearts
painful portends

should I attest
breaking silence
into her eyes
beg my passion

or slink away
into distance
steadfast stalwart
resigned to reason.