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Looking Back (The Confessions of The Lonely Man)


I looked back to the days before
wanting to call them my wasted years
yet I know that this might not have been
if those days I have never seen

the love I chose to be my reason
the lady that I never tried to know
this mistake that I have chosen
to placate my fear, my precious ego

the friends I lost to time and season
functionally ignored with strict indifference
unanswered phonecalls, unreplied correspondence
not wanting to care nor add my burdens

the moments I stood behind my curtain
holding back feelings and raw emotions
leaving words unsaid, thoughts unspoken
understanding unshared, intentions unbidden

the time I spent in lonely requiem
hiding behind intellectual passions
buried within historic achievements
counting past wrongs in quiet vengeance

the family I kept at length, at bay
those who have never given up on me
who never knew my heart's mystery
to whom I am still a stranger today

the God to whom I forgo to defray
obesiance in kind for His general benevolance
Whose gifts has bestowed unto little me
the benefit of such intelligence

the darkness in which my days are spent
the hopeless solitude of infinite chagrin
the gloomy moments of unrequited dreams
the lonely days when no one understands

My heart is glad, those days are done
though I find it hard to feel regrets
for all that I was, am and have been
are characterized by such vignettes

I found myself within those days
reminders of hope and love's refrain
of kindness that melts the coldest heart
a gentle succour in times of need

I never believed within myself
until those that do pointed out to me
the embers of love that still survive
within the blizzard that lie within

I did not look for another day
hope to me was a forgotten dream
until I found that special way
of a mother who still believes in her son

faith was a crutch I used to stand
propping up beliefs in fate and chance
ashamed and in tears I was to find
that Allah is always in my stead

friends I found who stood the odds
without benefit of my attention
those who stood with me throughout
just to see my smile's return

Love was by me unappreciated
calling it my "foolish reason"
until I lost forever the lady that mattered
I know now that love must be earned

I stand now upon this treshold
as I look back, quiet and humble
of all my plans and careful choices
in the hands of Allah lies my salvation.
paths ,

No Gun Ri

Blinded by haze
red haze!
Obscured by fog
war fog!

"Kill'em all!"
"Shoot everything!"

And as the 7th Cavalry aims
men, women and children all
Korean war refugee train
are rushed into the fall.

And as the hammer drops
firing pin springs
bullets leap, shells explode
civilian lives are spent.

Thus lie the bodies
broken, bloodied, refrained
victims of wrongful deaths
with recompense detained.
paths , ,

To Steal A Kiss

When I loved you
you were the first
soo many things to say
yet not knowing the words

I looked for a way
wished for the sentence
all for me to say
what my heart really yearns

alas my vision dimmed
my thoughts are furled
my very being trapped
within a silence unstirred

all I see is your hair
that the wind so carelessly blew
I wish it were my fingers
in your tresses dancing through

all I see are your eyes
doing that thing that they do
as they dance that special tango
shining with that special light of you

all I see is your smile
from those lovey lovely lips
for which I would die
to feel the brush of each

all I hear is your voice
which holds me to your sway
oh! such tender melodies
that once only seraphin played

so I stopped at hello
and said my goodbyes
for the lovely lady that was you
always left me tounge-tied

but I wish it were now
and you are here reading this
for my heart still do yearn
to steal from you a kiss.
paths , , ,

A Trail of Stars

There is a trail of stars that leads me here,
to this glorious place of happy summers.

For in thine eyes I see a spring,
the beginnings of love and better things.

Upon thy lips a smile the warmth of a thousand suns,
that even in winter climes keeps me warm and fine.

I want to dance and dance in the windy summer breeze,
so that I can become one with those that your tresses breathe.

I want to climb the clouds and be just like the rain,
so that I can fall upon and caress your lovely skin.
paths , ,

Once Upon A Memory

Oh, I remember the memories
under the sweet sun of Tuscany
through the cobbled streets of Paris
during that springtime reverie

as we explored all the echoes
the bright lights of Monte Carlo
wetting our feet in tepid shallows
on sandy beaches of Riviera narrows

the breeze that blew your hair askew
those raven tresses that loveliness drew
and those kisses from lips of thine
tasted as the sweetest Bourdeux wine.
paths , ,
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